


The Story of the Semi-Gusty Ninja

by FlyingKawaramiDestruction146



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:47:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26882407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingKawaramiDestruction146/pseuds/FlyingKawaramiDestruction146
Summary: Aiko Inaba is a civilian girl growing up in Konoha to be a ninja. it begins at the graduation of her class. This is her story.Kawarami out
Kudos: 2





	1. Academy Days

**Author's Note:**

> What AM I doing with my life?

I walked down the steps of my ghastly colored blue house. The lights of the stairway flickered.  
I strolled out and onto the street. Then I paused. Then I did a mental headcount.

Bag, pencil for stabbing annoying people in the eye... notebook. A thought niggled at the back of my mind. I frowned, scratching my thumb against my pointer finger thoughtfully. 

A moment later however, that thought is answered. “Aiko, come here right now!” a voice yells from the building, no doubt all my neighbors could hear. A pitter patter of softly-taken steps clacked on the floor, “You forgot your glasses." She slowed down, shaking her head and sighing, “How many times do I have to remind you?”  
All I could do was smile and stay stock-still. “Sorry.”

I actually probably thought about the glasses but didnt want to take them because when you are a ninja-in training there are so many ways they can break.

“You have to remember it, and later you'll thank me for it.” she nagged, hints of emotions i do not want to decipher mixing into an explosive cocktail. Sadly I forget things quite a lot. Like a lunch box. Or a notebook. Or an upcoming test. Or a writing utensil. Well, sometimes I just dont want to do it. Or...well, now you get it.

“Okay, I'm going to school now then.” I muttered, obviously still lagging around outside the house.

Mom raised an eyebrow at me. 

(cue muted fear)

"Okay.." I said annoyed "Im going." I rolled my eyes and flounced off to start the fated walk to school.  
I glanced up at the sky worridly. I did not want to get stuck in the rain. And at this time of year... even though it looked warm, clouds were approaching and weather was unpredictable sometimes.  
I decided to start off on a mild jog down the side of the street.  
Even at the ungodly eight oclock in the morning, the village was already active. Merchants had been up since hours earlier, students like me were hurrying towards school, and the never-ending silent steps of ninjas on rooftops never ceased.  
I started humming a song under my breath.  
I looked around my village, concentrating lazily to make sure I walk on the correct path to go to the prison called school.  
I ducked under a matte colored cloth hanging up from one shop.  
I moved back out into the middle of the path and felt a prickling on the back of my neck. I turned to the side just in time to see a ball flying towards me at high speeds.  
My eyes widened considerably.  
I attempted to duck the ball and it grazed the top of my head.

I then whipped out my leg to where I guessed the ball would go and attempted to kick it backup to my hands for me to catch.

Unfortunately, I was a couple of inches off, and the ball rolled to the side. With a narrow minded focus I lasered like a homing beacon onto the ball and lurched forward. I bumped into someone, and stumbled.. But! But I caught the ball!

I turned around apologetically, mouth already open for an apology, but the man was already gone.

I gazed at the distress around me. It seemed that the bump knocked my stuff out of my bag.. Including a few pens with missing caps, an old piece of gum, a couple crumpled pieces of paper, part of a snack crumbled to pieces, and a smiley face eraser. I knelt to the ground, quickly bringing them together and shoving them randomly and messily back in my bag.

Really, all this for a ball!

What kind of soon-to-be was I?

The guy who I did this for better not be an obnoxious asshole.

I stood up, turning around for the perpetrator of the ball kicking. I found my target, who was coming towards me. Perhaps four-five years younger?, brown hair, wire rimmed glasses, shy, a pair of green aviators hanging from his head, and drool dripping slightly out of the side of his mouth. He looked to be what? A head shorter than me? So 4,6? 4,7? 

And then I kind of melted. Because he was so cute! And chubby! And waaaay too fucking tall for his age.

I could guess that he was also going to the academy, he was heading that way after all and he had a practical blue-black bag with suspicous bulges. If he was the age he looked like, he'd be in his first year at the academy, and would probably be able to catch a ball that came way. 

Ball in hand once again, I made eye contact with the kid, nodded slightly, and then lightly tossed the ball.  
Guess I had a good bone in this body. Good deed done for the day. Knowing it was coming, he reached out and grabbed, then made some sort of sheepish smile that didn't work out with the small drool hanging out of his mouth, and then reverted back to this weird lined glazed look. I looked wistfully at the roofs where ninjas hopped from roof to roof, then back at my bag, which could easily open and break, scattering papers and weird school supplies over the roof. Yeah.. not a good idea. Didnt mean I didnt want to do it. buuuut... mom would murder me in my sleep if I got detention for being late for like the zillionith time (Iruka-sensei may be a kind man, but he does not kid around about school)  
I sighed and picked up a jogging pace, being careful that nothing would spill out of my bag..  
Hmm, I should probably fix that. Maybe there was some sort of short cut?  
Some sort of wire that could hold it together, and double as a weapon? Ninja wire perhaps. Or would mesh work?  
Ninja wire might break it but it would be better.  
My chakra strings couldnt last that long and it would take a lot of chakra and concentration. What if I wrapped it up in mesh, and then tied it into a bag via nin wire? It would be efficient, cool, and I had the supplies. Mesh was made in close enough criss crossing patterns that nothing would fall out.  
You know, why not?  
I had some in my bag somewhere for literally no reason at all except to be prepared (and I borrowed some from school...and just never exactly gave it back) so why not try?  
But school first sadly. For a brief moment in time, I groaned at the neverending monotony that is school.  
i resumed my humming. The ninja academy loomed in front of me, the hokage tower less than a mile besides me, and the hokage mountain behind me.  
Whenever I came here, I felt inspired by all these great ninjas! Maybe I would never get as far as them, but its the feeling. This place is like a monuments to all their accomplishments, so when I came here I felt like I could too (HA! Lie! It made me feel like shit. Like they only created peace and were extremely powerful... the most famous thing Ive done is steal mochi from my mothers friend shop and accidently dying my brothers shirts all pink.) The academy itself was huge. It had to be. We were a ninja village. We had a part-nin population. And kids grew up to be ninjas. DUH. There were civilians because no matter what people said, they are important to the village. (Also. Ninja. Were. Very. Destructive.)  
I joined the small crowd of latecomers. Strangely, I havent seen most of them when I was earlier. There was a familiar face or two, but it was weird. I dont know, probably just weird ninja instinct. When I came there I hurried down the hallway, hoping to get to class before class started.

The hallway sloped across, starting with year one classrooms to year four. There were three floors, year one and two one floor one, year three on floor two, and year four on floor three. I was year four, so I had to go to the end of the hallway and up the stairs. There were two classrooms. One was Mizuki-senseis class, and one was Iruka-sensei.

I opened up the door, anticipating a full class, but to my surprise I was the first there!  
Was it a saturday or something? What was going on?

But no, Iruka sensei was at the front of the class, to welcome the students as normal.

“Ah, welcome Aiko-san! You're the first in class! I hope this will continue.” he smiled brightly, his scar stretching across his nose. 

I put out my hands in front of me, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “wait… it is a school day right? And I'm supposed to be here?”  
Iruka sensei now looked confused, “Of course. It's Monday. We have class starting in ten minutes.”

Suddenly the pieces clicked in my head, and I groaned. “Mom.. of course.” Of course mom made me wake up early and tell me I was late so I would get to class. Nice mom, nice. Im a dumbass. It worked better than me getting a slew of detentions for being late to class, consequently falling asleep in class, and daydreaming during tests and lessons.  
Iruka seems to have followed the same line, which was really impressive, but he did know my sleeping habits (I couldnt help it! Everything was just so boring..) and had met mom before.  
I began my way to the top of the classroom in the back. It was a habit. Of course someone could tell you it's an optimal place to see your peers, but honestly it let me sleep in class, and was far away that Iruka sensei called on my less than others in say, the middle row, or the front row.  
I tucked away in the back corner desk, and pulled my bag in a heave onto my desk.

I flipped open the dark blue bag, which was really a backpack, because it had connecting strings that I could hoist on my back. I rummaged through it, feeling a plastic square shape. I brought it out in the sunlight, but brought it to my lap quickly, spared a look to sensei who was looking at another student, and popped a grape flavored gum in my mouth, my favorite flavor.

He probably knew already. He was a chunin (which I guessed because he was too skilled to be a genin, at least by my standards, and Konoha probably wanted jounin for missions, rather than teach), and if you got away with something in class, it was only because he let you, although not for a lack of trying on our part.  
Thrusting it back in the bag, I found my target: a tangled mesh net and a coil of ninja wire. I laid the mesh net flat across the desk and plopped my bag on it. Thank god it fit. I brought it up, and spooned ninja wire through different openings, and ended in a knot. It would let me open and close it quickly.  
My work was done.

Unconsciously, I pushed my glasses up my nose. It had a blue top, and brown bottom. I rather liked it.

Class began, and everyone was seated. Everyone was still talking.  
Iruka started the lesson.  
“As it is the week before your graduation exams, we will be going over everything that might be on the test today.  
Now.. the clone bunshin..” Iruka faced the board, and began writing. I payed attention to this lesson; any tips on anything would be welcome.  
A paper airplane from the middle row flew towards sensei, and he dodged it.  
The class erupted in a burst of giggles.  
Iruka held his breath and let it go. He continued the lesson, this time facing the class.  
“Is a ninja technique that is used by pooling..” but his words were lost to never be interpreted ever.  
It seemed like he finally blew his gasket.  
His head grew to giant proportions, and a giant inflated mad iruka head, “SHUT UP AND PAY ATTENTION!”  
That was scary and awesome. Still was every time I saw it.  
Anyways, the class quieted down.  
"chakra along your arms and pushing it out to your fingers. The hand signs for a clone is..." As much as I liked Iruka, his lectures sucked. I spent the rest of class creating a story about a dragon with a rabbit on its back cloud. Then I doodled a door with an eye on it. The day passed. I got a B on my math test and frowned. It seemed like I lost points for using the wrong equation that make the entire problem fail, messy handwriting, and underlined letters that specified: do not doodle on worksheet. I looked at my mistakes and resolved to write neater, which I do everyday since last week, in the japanese and spelling test where I got points off for messy unreadable handwriting.  
I hate algebra. So so much. With a burning passion. sooooooooooooooooooo much.  
After school I went to the library. The academy section. There was some basic knowledge there for school which I read from time to time, where I was reading about history and trying to learn about acupuncture stuff (pressure points. Actually was apprentincing for it. A friend of my mom does that kind of stuff for civilians at her salon, (Ive joined in on some sessions to watch and try it. And failed.) but mostly I just read fantasy novels.  
After I jogged home and practiced the academy three, and continued to try to keep a leaf on my head while jumping, reading, walking, or eating dinner with my family. I had one brother, but that was my only sibling. Dad was on a work trip for the next trip. I didn't mind. He always found time for us. He was only gone a month at the most. I was luckier than most. I had a half decent brother, and great parents.  
I was the third ninja in the family, grams and gramps on mom's side being ninja. My mothers brother was one, but he died at the young age of sixteen. Mom was really worried when I asked to be one. Actually, Im pretty sure there was some unspoken law that one person from each family had to graduate as a ninja, to make up the lower ranks. Unless, of course, your family specialized in something like Blacksmithing, which was allowed. I was the one in my family.

The week speeded past, and soon we came to graduation day. On my way I plugged in earplugs. At this time for some reason. a crazy loud green ninja ran over the roofs, yelling things like YOSH, YOUTH, and SPRINGTIME with his student. Sometimes they ran around the wall, sometimes up and down the Hokage mountain. he was weird. When he came I wore earplugs and went on the other side of the street. You could never be sure with him. Sometimes he brought something from a food stall, and it just...was hell for whoever the shop owner. He got a student. Three actually. Thankfully, only one followed him in his ways. Copying is a form of flattery I guess? Luckily there was only one of those.  
I don't think I or the rest of Konoha could handle one green dude and three mini hims.  
His name was Might Gai, the green beast of Konoha.  
Personally, I wore greens, blues, and reds. I had no fashion. Just pure comfort. Although I did enjoy arm wraps. Very handy. For extra materials, for bandaging wounds, and as a pure fashion statement. On that topic, I didn't like my appearance. I had zits everywhere, a fat short face, honking glasses, kinda pudgy, and had little muscle in my arms. I had a weird birthmark on my face. My hair would never stay straight and get everywhere. It never looked good. My fingernails and lips were chewed off, a habit of mine. My skin isn't clear, and had a sort of orangey color.  
I looked normal, I know. But it still felt kinda ugly.  
I was lazy, and dumb. But don't say that because of self esteem and stuff. I could always improve. Socializing was annoying, and i liked ignoring people when i was done, but I couldn't just do that, you know. It'd be rude.  
I was really short and had my growth spurt in grade three. Grades K-3 were in one half of the building then was sectioned off to the much larger 4-7th. I was in 7th.  
I was 5 feet tall. REALLY annoying to get spices from the cabinet. I couldnt just stick kunai in the walls. Mom would kill me. My brother is 6'4. Which. Just how does that work? I went to school today without prompting from mom. This day I would become a ninja. The students in classroom 4B were quiet for once.  
We all filed into the classroom and I smiled at Hinata, a classmate of mine, as she sat quietly and slipped into her seat. I knew Hinata would make it. She was just that way (being a clan heir helped). Really determined, although this was overshadowed by her shyness.  
She gave an unsure half smile back. I felt a bit better. Hinata was supporting me. One person on my side.  
We supported each other. WILL OF FIRE! Iruka sensei called us down in a line. We were doing the henge jutsu.  
Sasuke went, Sakura went, Naruto went, Daichi went, Kai went, and then it was suddenly my turn.  
Naruto did this weird girl henge that made me feel weird and blush. Then he did one of the Hokage. Iruka chewed him out.  
I took a deep breath and concentrated.  
I focused on my chakra that was in my stomach, the warm feeling in my coils, put my hands in a sign, and imagined every detail of Iruka before me.  
I scratched my nose as often was his habit, and straightened slightly from my usual slump, a small half smile that looked still serious on my face, then cracked by yawning really loudly and smiled without teeth after that, slumping.  
I pass.  
Then Hinata went.  
Aoi went next in line. He executed it perfectly, ruining it by burping in a very unlike Iruka manner.  
The class erupted in giggles.  
It was a nice break from the usual, but soon we had the written tests in front of us. Talk about boring.  
After that was a taijutsu showing, and throwing weapons. I did average in both. Im very average.  
We had to demonstrate the clone bunshin individually, and the tantalizing looks of the konoha hitai-ates were just beyond our reach.  
I would become a ninja now.  
The clone was easier for me. Unlike the henge, you didn't have to concentrate on every detail. It was a copy of yourself. To some it might be harder, but if you just relax, your chakra kind of molds itself for you. It was because it grew up with you, so it natrually came to henge as you.  
I performed two successful ones.  
Iruka handed me it and after a moment of thinking, i flipped my hair forward, wrapped it around like a headband, and tied a knot. I slipped it over my head and securely knotted it so it wouldn't fall off doing anything. It was like it was stuck to my head. Maybe a good exercise would be using chakra to stick it there. I resolved to try it as I smiled at Iruka sensei, and he told me to go to the classroom tomorrow to get assigned to a team.  
My headband slipped slightly off my head.  
I concentrated on the chakra in my head, the gate there, I guess, and pushed it outwards. I was trying to figure how to coat my head with chakra to stick it, a differance from chakra strings. On the way home, I concentrated on it, frowning slightly, but was so focused that I bumped into someone. I stumbled, nearly tripping over my own feet into the ground.  
I turned back around to say an apology.  
My mouth was already open and I was already talking without control “sorry about that! Are you okay?”  
When I fully noticed her, it died out. The woman had a bandage dress, and red eyes. A kunoichi definitely. She was definitely okay.  
I floundered awkwardly and she replied smoothly, “Yeah.”  
I laughed awkwardly, scratching my head nervously, “cool, uh...”  
Then I continued.  
The woman was very noticeable. How did she move around in that dress? It looked so goddamn uncomfortable. How the hell would you move around in that thing?  
I wondered who she was.  
Maybe I should check out a bingo book to see if shes in it? I checked it out in the library. She was. Yuuhi Kurenai. Page 139. A ranked. Specializing in genjutsu. Could kick your butt.

The next day I woke up early, full of stomach jitters. This day would impact the rest of my career!  
Mom and Dad had made pancakes for my big day.  
I smiled nervously at them.  
“Mrph” I would have said thank you except my mouth is filled with pancake.  
I poured syrup on half of it, and left the rest without toppings. I ate both. Syrup was good but it had, like no flavor.

My brother Akira, who was fourteen but acted like he was so cool and above it all already (wanted to be a diplomat) did not comment on my graduation. Hes an ass, but somehow manages to make you like him. 

I walked to school slowly, noticing everything around me. Now I would be a protector (hopefully a good one) of Konoha, my village, as a shinobi.

I forgot to plug in my ear plugs but thankfully Green 1 and Green 2 were off in the distance climbing the Hokage Mountain. Banners hung up.  
The shopkeepers sold food.  
My headband was in my pocket. I felt like I didnt deserve it unless I became a ninja.  
I reached the school. I walked down the hallway. I walked up the stairs. I entered the classroom.  
I sat down in my usual spot.  
I gazed at the classroom, wondering who my teammates would be.  
Hinata, Aoi, Daichi, Kai, Shikamaru, Sakura, Naruto, Ino, Emica, Sayin, so many more.  
Who would be my teammate?

And outside the rain started letting off.

My brooding was interrupted my loud commotion by the door. It appeared Sakura and Ino were arguing over entering the room. They had this giant rivalry that happened who knows when. It was common knowledge.  
Imagine if they were on a team together!  
It would be hilarious!  
Sakura and Ino fought over the spot next to where Sasuke sat, where the ever annoying loud troublesome 'Future Hokage dattebayo!' Naruto was trying to sit. Sakura reached there first. Through some commotion Naruto ended up falling forward, ending with his lips… on Sasukes.  
It seemed like the entire room had taken a deep breath.  
The two boys acted hilariously.  
They pushed away from each other, like each other had cooties or something. Oh my god. This was awesome. Comedy. they seemed to graviate towards each other. Assholes attract each other I geuss. Narutos always just been someone I couldnt be friends with. I dont know... it was just how it was. He always seemed to he a loud orange wearing menace, so I just stayed away. He was a troublemaker. A no.  
It seemed like every girl descended on naruto like a mad goddess from hell to try and pummel him. Damn Sakura and Emica could land a good hit!  
I could help… or not. 12 year old fangirls could be scary.  
Why did they like him anyway? My parents taught me that you should only treat people as you would like to be treated, and Sasuke treated everyone with cold indifference, so I treated him the same. If I treated Naruto by yelling his ear off about being hokage, and that 'bastard' I think I would die a bit inside. So I broke my rule for that, and just stayed away from that problemmatic attention-seeking boy.  
I patted Hinata's shoulder, in sympathy. Poor girl just witnessed her long time crush getting his first kiss.  
Bleh. HORMONES..shudder. Poor naruto. Even he didn't deserve that. He was really annoying and loud, I didn't get why Hinata liked him. Then again, she always saw things in people others couldn't, so maybe there was something about him I couldn't see.  
Iruka made sure everyone was here first, then started announcing the teams. I leaned forward in excitement and nerves.  
“Team One: Aoi Watanabe, Daigo Ito, Sayin Ando under Maen Nara” ooh… poor Sayin. Daigo was a douchbag, and a complete anti-feminist pig.  
He droned on, until he got to team four,  
“Aiko Inaba..” “Daichi Nao, and Itsuki Mitsu under Kumade Gou”  
Hinata was a clan kid heiress, she probably would be other clan kids.

Hopefully she wouldn't be with a guy like Sasuke, he'd be a horrible fit for her.

“Team Seven: Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki under Kakashi Hatake.” wasn't the hatake guy famous or something? Something about lightning? Or eyes... Im not sure. Poor Naruto, but at least Hinata wasnt with sasuke.  
Team Eight: “Hinata Hyuga, Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka under Kurenai Yuuhi” Good ,those dudes would be good teammates.  
They all were clan heirs and heiresses. Couldn't be a mistake.  
I noticed Hinata pushed her hair around her ear, a small smile on her face. There was no team nine. It was a superstition for bad luck. “Team Ten: Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi under Asuma Sarutobi. And that's it.”  
Also all heirs. Asuma Sarutobi was related to the Hokage, probably a jounin. Yuuhi was a jounin. They wanted clan heirs to be protected.  
The senseis came and gathered everyone.  
The woman I had seen the day before, with the bandage dress, and intense deep red eyes came and took out team eight. A male in his twenties looked like the regulation jacket, grayish hair, and a tanto in a sheath at his side looked at me, and I had a feeling he was my sensei. Kumade Gou, huh.  
He walked towards me, leading me and my classmates classmates out into the bright sunlight, then turned.

END PART ONE

God I just realized how bad this chapter is. If you don't cringe at this, then maybe I got around to fixing it.


	2. Cold, Stinky Socks, and Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added so many civilians because i think that if you look at it, there are career genin. this answers the question of where they go. also because not only clans are the fighitng forces. i think that in every family has had at least a couple ninja because again while trading, merchants, diplomats, and civilians are imortant to the village, it does good to remember that yes, it is a ninja village. i think that everyone goes to primary school and then either to apprentice, go to the ninja academy, or learn a craft under someone like a version of an apprentice.

His cold dead brown eyes, analytical, drag over them like he is considering their worth, wether they are someone. Its sharp. Predatory.  
And Aiko hates it.  
She still unconciously straightens, of course.  
Hes looking at them like a general, like they are soldiers. And no one. No one has ever looked at her like shes not a child, without bare amusement and dismisses her like she doesnt have a brain. Like they assume just because she has a hard time hearing them, then in turn translating and understanding them, shes dumb. She needs a reminder. She can be forgetful sometimes.  
But this guy, their future sensei she suddenly hopes with a fervor, seems to see that and expects out of her, and for once she believes that she will rise up enough.  
And hes acknowledged her.  
And so Aiko straightens for a man who seems to have accepted that, but expects that shes a soldier, and not a child.  
His eyes meet her for a brief moment.  
Aiko so very much wants his approval and in this moment he has.  
Then his brown eyes are elsewhere.  
And she feels like he has dissmissed her. But in a differant way.  
A way that hurts so much more.  
Hes acknowledged that she can be a soldier, but then he doesnt think she will.  
And that hurts.  
Aiko recoiled back, her fingers itching for a senbon, to prove that she is not worthless among her teammates.  
And yes, she knows who they are.  
Daichi is at the top of the taijutsu portion, so impressive considering the gap between clan kids and civilians, he fights analytically, pounding her to the ground. Hes also a douchbag. But a smart one. His specialty lies within genjutsu, his creativity surpasses the teenagers her age. He can hold you in a genjutsu without you even realzing it.  
And Itsukis power is in his brain. Analytical, always thinking. His brain rivals Shikamaru Nara, the Nara prodigy. But it lies in manipulation, social cues, rather than battle plans with no doubt he would do well in. He has an eidetic memory, he remembers every detail to use or to help. he can be charismatic when he tries, but puts on a nerd mask for the rest of the world. No one knows what he is really like, hes pretty much fooled everyone around him. He knows everything from thirty differant strategies of shogi, to the enviornment of Earth Country, along with all its history.  
Her sensei is a powerful man, a general, a soldier, a liar, an actor, a lawyer, a doctor, and no doubt well-versed and knowldged on things shes never even begun to comprehend.  
And Aiko? Shes got no place to fit in on this team. She uses her brain to use her homework, to curiously explore, for minor pranks, to overthink. For shortterm, to ask what someones motive is. Finding reasons for a cause. Convincing herself of something. She has a shit memory, a crude language, average in everything. She is good at following people, at talking and distracting. She has arrogance. She applies herself to many things, constantly fails to rise above. She can throw senbon, use a wakizashi, is good with kunai but not great. She has always been to manipulate water, but never got far. She got chosen halfway through games of ninja. She learns acupuncture, even though it takes her half a year, too long to finally grasp it. Her strength lies in her perseverance. What good it does.

Her eyes move back to the man in front of her.  
He has been silent for one minute.  
So when he does finally speak, it startles her.  
"My name is Kumade Gou. What do you think I am?"  
Itsuki goes first, smiling disarmingly without a beat, like he expected this, "Your name is Kumade Gou. A Rank jounin, kill on sight in Iwa and Mist. Specializes in genjutsu, kenjutsu and is noted for a terrifying earth ability. Former Anbu (that he geussed), forcibly retired. Affiliations: Kurenai Yuuhi, the Konohan genjutsu mistress, Raiku of the lightning, Kai Aburame of a thousand bugs. Your looks suggest you have family in Iwa."  
With that he finishes.  
Gou nods. "Correct. However, there is one thing you have forgotten to do."  
He pauses for effect. Aiko notices he nearly rolls his eyes. When Itsuki is still silent he continues "use your brain. It is your greatest asset. Anyone can memorize those facts, but can you think about what they mean, can you use it on the field?"  
Itsuki frowns at the reprimand.  
He nods almost impercebtibly at Daichi, who takes it as his cue.  
"You are purposfully allowing us to analyze you. If you truly were ANBU, or any good jounin, you would have no bodily cues. Yet you do. Your two middle fingers curve towards your sword. Your left leg holds more weight than the right. You either have a limp or use your right leg more. Your right eye is an excellent fake."  
Gou looks at him, raising an immaculate eyebrow. "Good kid. What can your opponent do? if you think too much, youll die before you move."  
Then his eyes are on her. Aiko pictures a sweat droplet coursing down her face. "Uh..." wow great stall. You know nothing. Distract! "What do I think you are? I think you are a male human." distract, while her brain figures more out. "You may be bisexual, aromantic, or straight, etc. You are quite tall. You are a man in his twenties. You are a man who likes grey. A lot. You are a person. You may be trasngender. You are a Konoha jounin. You are our sensei." is that a twitch? Put it together. "You are a ninja." ah there it is! time to test it. He rambling steadies, grows more serious. "You are trying to scare us. You are pulling off a serious man who hates joking, a general. an asshole. But this isnt your personality? You have humour."  
Gou looks at her. She looks back.  
Then his posture changes. It becomes more slumped, his eyes show more color, everything changes. It is like he is a differant man. His grin is blinding. "Nice job kid. Tip? Dont let your assumptions cover the truth. See what is there, gather evidence, reason behind it, then make a leap." then he pauses. "And yeah. Im bisexual. Beautiful boyfriend." His eyes drift off into... well she didnt really want to know what he was thinking.

Gou clapped his hands together twice in succesion.  
"Thats over. Now lets see what you squirts can do against me. And if you pass."  
Aikos confidence, which had grown alongside her ego, nosedived into the ground.  
"Pass?"  
"You didnt think you'd waltz here and I would be your sensei, did you? Theres a jounin test."  
Daichi and Itsuki didnt look very suprised. Itsuki wasnt using his magic words to convince their sensei they should pass, strangely. Very quiet.  
Aiko spoke for the three of them. "Fuck."  
\----------------------------------  
In no time they were at a clearing.  
Kumade looked at them.  
He then held out two bells. "Two of you guys pass this test. the third? Psssh. Bye!"  
WHat. the fffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudddddddddddddddddddddddddddggggggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee???????????????????????  
That... vile mutton-headed toad!  
That limpid prick spinach!  
That egregious bollock cake!  
Gou the Slimeball moved to the middle of the clearing.  
Her teammates eyes locked on her. She backed up.  
Daichi raised an eyebrow. Itsuki raised one back.  
The three of them disapeared into the hedges.  
Great. What to do. Did they team up on her? Shed be useless without them. But then she wouldnt pass. And that could not happen.  
A hand clamped over her face. She looked up to see her two teammates there. They planned to knock her out!  
Aiko wrestled out of the handhold. Itsuki. Daichi has a killer headlock.  
She hissed, pulling senbon between her fingers, crouching on the balls of her feet.  
"You guys-!" Daichi shrugged as if to say sorry.  
She spat furiously. "You fanatic bastard catepillars! You psychedelic deformed kernels! You dispassionate hell muffins!"  
She readied the senbon, kai-ing in her head to check for genjutsu, and used the space of time she used her words and the moment of increledous silence afterwards to pull water inch by inch around them.  
Itsuki moved his hands and the water behind him was just waiting to drown him.  
But he was signing? KSL?  
(Test. Teamwork. Work together.)  
That made sense. Just to make sure though.  
(Release weapons.)  
They dropped their bags.  
(All of them.)  
A couple exploding notes.  
(the pin in your hair.)  
It dropped.  
The weapons now stood beside her.  
They had intelligence, traps, genjutsu.  
She released chakra strings attaching them to the senbon. Better show them that and not her water affinity.  
She put one over a pressure point. It wouldnt kill, but it'd hurt like hell and render them useless.  
She pressed the senbon less then a centimeter in their necks.  
((Daichi and Itsuki held placid faces. Aiko talked too much. However, this was the way itsuki thought to be best to get points across. Honesty, in a position of power.)br /> (The test is teamwork. Konoha values teamwork. We have to work together to win.)  
Aiko considered. She left the senbon there for a half a second more, dragging themselves up to eyes, a warning.  
Then she tugged them back.  
The came back to her, and she put them away. She motioned for them to pick up their weapons, stepping behind them and put the water she had gathered to settle in her boots.  
A twitch of her eye was the only thing that showed she saw the weapons, as if illusions, disappear. (Plan) Itsuki nodded and after all was accepted, it began.  
\--------------------------------------  
Aiko was bait and distraction ( canon fodder).  
Itsuki lured Kumade Gou to the trees.  
Daichi set off a series of terrifying traps and genjutsu.  
In the end, none got the bells.  
Kumade spoke "None of you got the bells. That is a fail."  
Itsuki smiled chillingly, not one speck out of place, voice smooth and convincing and confident, "No, sensei, its not. Teamwork is the goal. We."  
Daichi stood tall "All."  
Aiko panted, chakra exhausted from using every trick in her book, words, senbon, taijutsu, water, genjutsu, but she grinned madly, a crazed look on her face, "Pass."  
Kumade Gou looked at the three tired Academy students before him.  
One short girl, a few tricks up her sleeve.  
One raven-haired boy, with an intelligence that would rival anyone.  
One lanky boy, with a creativity that would make Kurenai proud.  
Kumade slipped back into the 'general' mode as the loud pipsquick said. Killing intent leaked.  
His cold brown eye looked at the black haired boy with a tongue far too silver, "You."  
It hovered and looked deadly into the eye of a gray-eyed boy, "All."  
It paused and looked into the bright-eyed brown eyed innocent eyes of the short girl, "Pass."  
...He would regret this. He knew that already.  
\------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a very slow paced story.  
> I have no idea what the hell Im doing.  
> however, it will all fit together (somehow?) (maybe) (sure) (whatever)  
> disclaimer; dont own naruto.  
> Review!


	3. Social Outcasts and Sadistic Teammates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aiko has an existental crises, and is an awkward little duckling.

Three weeks later:

The streets were busy this morning and I dropped by the local bakery.  
I brought three sweet buns for me and my teammates if I found them.  
I'm would go to the training ground, and then later go on a d-rank mission with my team.  
On the way there I noticed a familiar face talking to someone else. Brown hair, jacket, short hair? Flowershop, blond hair, purple outfit?  
It was obvious. Hinata and Ino.  
I didn't exactly know Ino, but I did know Hinata-ish... as social outcasts. So I decided to talk to her.  
I slinked up to them like a cat, and heard some catches of conversation.  
Ino was telling Hinata “ that lazy-ass Shikamaru too! All he does is sleep around and stare at some clouds all day.. Hmph. Don't get me started.. He also..”  
Hinata nodded along to Inos ranting.  
I decided to intervene.  
I took out one delicious sweet bun and passed it to Hinata.  
She took it in her hands and started eating it.  
Ino finally seemed to notice “And our sensei… Oh are those sweet buns? Pass one..”  
I shrugged and gave her one. Too bad for my teammates.

I dropped off to visit Sayin and Kai at the aviary, where they started working together after their respective senseis failed them, but didnt stay long before they shooed me off because they had work.

Maybe I'd walked around? \------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It is a beautiful autumn day outside and Daichi is completely ruining it for me. I cant seem to enjoy it because that crazy asshole is trying to kill me out of fucking nowhere.

I'm strolling along the treeline, expertly through years of practice managing to dodge the expansive trees as I stick my nose in the book in front of me. It's quite interesting actually.

It seems like the heroine has finally reached the outside and last floor of the dungeon only for the antagonist to creep out of the metalwork. She is exhausted, defeated and all seems lost… and suddenly-

“Yah!” I scream and throw myself out of the way, book lost, barely managing to dodge the kunai thrown my way. I don't dodge the next one and it nicks me in the arm. I pull my reach out but only in time to detect a mass in the tree above me.

A big body falls on me. I look up and can't help but groan. Everything is so white.

Why is there a star above my head? It's so bright…

After a moment's realization, I figure out the star is my teammates' smirking head.

I groan, roll to the side, and balance on my feet. With a sudden surge of hot white anger and pent up annoyance, my body moves without me. I lunge forward like a bear, tackling the male to the ground.

He rolls over and suddenly I'm on the floor, and my hands are pinned helplessly to the ground. My right leg isn't moving, so with a grunt of pain.. I kick my left leg up, reaching towards his face, but Daichi dodges out of the way.

So I use the momentum of him going off balance to free my right hand, wait for my leg to fall off the ground, and attempt to somersault backwards with one hand, one leg, one leg comatose still throbbing from where it landed hard on the ground, and one trapped.

I end up on the ground still, blacking out from pain. Black and white splotches are everywhere, and everything hurts. My leg is numb, and I think-OW GOD my wrist is FUCKING BROKEN. OUCH.SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.

Then before I black out, I manage to grumble “what the hell is wrong with you?” and everything fades to black. When I wake up, I feel marginally better. My head feels like it's getting stomped over by a herd of giant armadillos, but I can move my leg, and my half-twisted-NOT BROKEN wrist is in a cast.

Daichi is standing in front of me, and I want to punch him so bad,but not as much as I want to punch sensei (Absent minded, ain't she? And a wicked grin )/p> Priorities. 

“Daichi…” I trail off, leaving a murderous look, “Where. Is. My. book.” my voice is hard and angry.

Daichis smirk is wiped off, replaced by a look of alarm, then with a meep turn and gestures to a scratched, ripped off precious book! I scramble over to it, everything else forgotten, my book, my poor poor book. 

And Daichi, blue eyes wide, scurries off to flee from an angry Inaba, because if there is one thing you know about Aiko Inaba it is to not mess with her books.

Somewhere in the Konoha village, a head is being wacked, a civilian is almost having a heart attack, a massive amount of smoke is suspiciously rising up, a twenty two year old man is cackling, and there is a very happy ramen owner. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hate D-ranks. Nuff said.

Like whhhhhy.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I also hated mission reports. They usually ended up written like this: Stalked cat. Found cat. Stopped Daichi from punting cat. Doodles were inscribed all over the page, of a very interesting tree I saw, and an image of Tora The Evil Cat Empress wearing a cape and crown, sitting on a chair like some evil villain.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I sat on my blue and lavender striped bed. I was crouched over, a book open in front of me, a novel I had read many times, the one that originally got me into reading: The Tales of The Gutsy Ninja. I had started reading earlier than my peers, but only really read fantasy novels, so technically I was behind in reading than others.  
The basis of the story was the protagonist Naruto was a young man who decided to become a ninja but over time became disheartened by the cruel side of the world, and instead of losing it, fought for the wellbeing of himself and others. If one looked deeper, you could see mulling questions about war, fighting, peace.  
I frowned slightly bringing my wandering mind back to the topic I was originally thinking about. What was my dream? Sure, to be strong was one thing, but I knew my motivation had to be deeper than that.  
What was it?  
Pride?  
A hope to make my family proud?  
Want to be special?  
A fear of the unknown?  
A curious spirit?  
The will of fire even?  
Well either way. What did I want to learn so I didnt effing die?  
New techniques, perfecting and creating new techniques. To watch people faar stronger than me and be able to fight with them on equal ground.  
To be as strong as the Sannin. To be as powerful as the Hokage. To be as fast as the Yellow Flash. To control people like Sasori of the Red Sand.  
Well then, becoming as strong as them didn't come out of nowhere.  
I rolled myself out of bed with a groan.  
I stood up in a flash.  
I walked out of my apartment.  
Then I quickly went back.  
I forgot my weapons pouch. Oops!  
I took it and began walking towards the training grounds. I don't think I could just walk by and use a random one. Was there a system?  
Who do I know would know this?  
Ah.. well, I don't know where sensei is.  
But there was one. Iruka sensei. At this time, he probably was grading some papers at the school. It was only a couple hours past noon. I changed my walk to get to the academy.  
I arrived in no time.  
The doors were open, and there were a couple murmurs coming from one classroom. Ah, after school tutoring. Embarrasing memories.  
I walked past it to the stairway. I climbed up the staircase, reaching the next floor.  
I continued my gait to the end of the hallway.  
There were a few questionable stains on the stark walls. Rows of classroom doors were closed and the rooms themselves were dark.  
I ended at the last classroom in the hall. The light was on. Iruka sensei was in.  
I kind of leaned at the edge of the doorway, awkwardly.  
What was I thinking? He was busy.  
He was at his desk, filling out some papers on it. He noticed me easily and smiled brightly, tiredly.  
“Ah come in! How has it been since you graduated?”  
I smiled at him, unconsciously fidgeting with glasses, moving it up and down and scratching my nose.  
“Hi, sensei. Actually this is about that.. If you aren't too busy.”  
He shook his head. “No problem, besides it's time to take a break.” If he was annoyed, he didn't show it.  
“Uh...well.. I was kind of wondering something, and then I came here--I guess? To ask you. So, uh, do you have to book the training grounds, like some sho--sort of process to go to one??” My voice steadily grew higher pitched. I turned my face away, embarrassed, and scratched my arm. Did I say that alright? It's okay, already said, can't change it.  
Iruka seemingly straightened, going straight into teacher mode.  
“Ah good question. To register for the training ground, you go to the front desk by the Hokage's office, but you have to be at least a chunin for that. There are genin training grounds just for people like you to practice at, and there is no need to sign up. If you take a left at Ichirakus, go straight for a minute, and then turn right at the armory, turn left again, and walk then you'll be there.”  
“Ah...thanks sensei.” I lingered, not sure if I could leave.  
After an awkward silence, I scurried out of the classroom like a mouse who smelled cheese.

After I trained for a good hour, I searched around for my teammates.  
We had today to 'get to know each other'.  
They were getting dango at a local tea shop.  
I grinned and flew forward.  
"Heeeey guys... whats up?" Hugging onto them like a leech. Then I hissed. Ow, goddamned it, my hand still hurt.  
"GYa! Do not do that!" My teammate dropped his dango stick.  
"Sure" I grinned widely.  
he glared at me. "Youre buying another one for me."  
I pouted, "Ah.. I dont have any money."  
"Yes. Yes, you do."  
I sighed, "Ah fine" I pulled some ryo from my pocket and tossed it to him.  
Then I squinted at him. There was something.. He turned back around, buying another dango stick.  
I turned to Itsuki, pleading at him with big puppy eyes.  
He shook his head. "Nope, not buying you dango." Note to self: work on puppy eyes.  
He poked his stick right in my forehead.  
I squawked. "HEY!"  
There was suddenly a prick of pain in the back of my head.  
I turned to Daichi.  
"Hey guys, what is this? Throw things at poor innocent little Aiko day?"  
They simeotaneously monotoned "yes."  
I huffed, crossing my arms across each other, but it reality grabbing for my senbon (amateur acupuncutere specialist, remember?)  
I flicked it out as fast as I could to a pressure point on their arm.  
Itsuki leaned out of the way. Unfair! It whirled past him and embedded into the dango of a random customer. Oops!  
Daichi couldnt get out in time. It barreled towards him. Then it tilted at the last second, sticking it in his arm, but only half a centimeter deep in the wrong place.  
"Hey!" He flicked me in the forehead.  
Itsuki started conversationaly "Hey did you know that flies can taste with their feet? Its true! They have mechasensory organs called harteles, which are so small. They have excellent eyes.They can see and track movement on a whole differnat level than humans-"  
I think he's trying for overachiever nerd now. I remember when he tried hentai character, I'll have nightmares. Daichi stopped him by casually leaning his head on Itsukis head, who continued after a moment/  
"Right and their eyes are made for extra sensory movement. I think their eyes are like the animal version of the sharingan. Did you know that they live of liquids? I found out that they really just cant eat food. Not even like the smallest crumb. And.."  
He babbled on and on about flies and their greatness, exageratting with large arm movements. Daichi and I lead him on away from the shop, in a move of coordination. And towards a great grassy expanse called the training ground our sensei wanted to meet us.  
Daichi interrupted, speaking directly in my ear, breathing hot gross breath all over my ear, "Hey did you hear the joke about the oyster?"  
Itsuki babbled on obliviously.  
"No, I havent. Please. Tell me." I spoke dryly, pushing his away from me.  
"Why dont oysters donate to charity?" He grinned widely, crossing his arms, "because they're shellfish!" he finished with wiggling his fingers out like some attempt of jazz fingers.  
The world seemed to groan as one at his terrible pun.  
I sweatdropped, "That was so... bad."  
he grinned, "I know! Wanna hear another one."  
"NO!"  
" A missing nin, a monk, and a seamstress walked into a bar.."  
Whatever he was going to say would never reach the outside world again, thank kami.  
"Hello, my little kouhais. Time to start training!" our sensei shouted from right behind us.  
I jumped five feet in the air, I hadnt even sensed him! Daichi closed his eyes, and Itsuki stepped forward then turned around to face our sensei.  
He made us run until we nearly passed on. Daichi made bad puns the entire goddamned time. Sensei randomly pelted us with sticks the entire time, situational awareness he said cheerfully! (especially at me, for my sensory training, and Itsuki to see how fast he could run)  
His sole existence was to give us pain, I swear.  
And finally.... finally! When it was all over, and we dragged ourselves over to a resturant for lunch, we collapsed on a table.  
I stared at them. They stared at me. I stared back.  
I grinned, "soooo... wanna play cards?" procuring a pack out of nowhere (My inside pocket).  
They shared a look. Itsuki rolled his eyes. A look but Im not sure exactly what it meant.  
"Sure.."  
I dealt out the cards for a game of Tobirama Senju. The basics were that there were equal groups of four cards, and four in the middle. You flipped them over, and the game began. The point was to have all your decks to have all of one number, like four fives or four queens. Once you had all your decks done, you yelled Tobirama Senju and the first one to say it and complete it won. The catch was you had to use only one hand at a time, and were only allowed to use three fingers. It was extremely hard... but somehow.. I managed to kick their asses every single time.  
"HA! You all owe me mochi!!" I beamed.  
Itsuki rolled his eyes.  
It seemed that over our game of cards, the food had disapeared down our gullets.  
I smiled nervously, "Actually... how bout you pay for my share?"  
I didnt have any more money.  
Itsuki sighed.  
Daichi humphed but they forked over their share and mine.  
Daichi turned to me. "Hey why are colds bad criminals? because they're easy to catch!" he laughed uproriously, "You got it.. because colds are easy to.. you know."  
Itsuki sighed, rolling his eyes again. "Yeah we got it." He said patting Daichi on his back.

"You see it right? Because colds are really easy to catch, ya know? And?" He continued on frantically.  
"Yeah. We said. Again. Got. it."  
The waitress glared us down. We forked the money over.  
We walked out of the tea shop. As soon as they did, I glomped them.  
"Oof!"

Yeah, life was great.

Just a minute. "Kai".  
Daichi!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kawarami out.

I decided to go for a walk, then to the library. Now that I was a genin, there were scrolls that were now available to me. On my way, I spotted a couple of very familiar people.  
I grinned, flopping my hand in the air like a very undignified fish, "Hey Sayin! Kai!"  
The two were hutched over a table at the nearby dango shop, muttering under their breath.  
I ended up at their table in record time.  
Sayin looked up and muttered something under her breath like 'have you no tact?"  
Kai rolled her eyes.  
I rolled mine back. I totally did-just didnt use it. I didnt care about what others thought about me.  
I plopped down in the third chair, interupting their no doubt veeery important conversation.  
They exchanged a look. Ive been friends with them for many years, but theirs was on a whole differant level.  
Like read each others mind level. It was honestly creepy.  
Bet they'd have flawless teamwork.  
Soo anyways...  
"we didnt pass, were planning to join the aviary, the genin corps first. Itll take a lot of work, but I know which strings to pull."  
Kai was scary. I knew such scary people (Mom, dad, Itsuki, Daichi, Kai, Sayin) but yet I was as harmless and scary as Fu from the Tales of A Gusty Ninja, which is to say not at all.  
And Sayin was scary too. She had once convinced a teacher to buy her an entire rack of dango, after she got in trouble for spreading rumors for his mortal enemy about him, which was true, and the other guy also got her a rack of dango. There was a lot of dango.  
I frowned at them.  
"Oooh. I see." they didnt pass obviously and mentioning that would be levels of awkward and bitchiness, so what could I do but obnoxiously support them? "Yeah, I know you guys got this. Youre going to manhandle them."  
"Woman handle"  
She turned to Kai "hey Kai, we better get going. We dont want to miss the sign-up time." Kai nodded, and they walked out.  
I spluttered "Hey guys! What--?"  
A voice interrupted me, a young woman, a waitress with an impatient look and a notebook in hand "Its time to pay the bill." I looked at it, and widened my eyes. How much dango did they eat?  
Eh... guess she noticed.  
I sighed resigned, and payed the bill.  
Honestly. I would get them back.  
But I didn't.  
Why did I like Sayin so much?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know, I really commend you if you made it this far. That is a feat in itself. Kudos to you.


	5. Chapter 5

Dinner:

_Timestap: Today_

I stared at it. I raised my fork and stabbed down. I scraped the food and put it in my mouth.

Kami, I hate lentils.

"-and its practically like hes living under a rock, I swear."

Thats Akira. Waving his fork in the air, very carefully not eating the lentils, he is telling a story about his best friend, Daichi.

I look up. Im bored. "Hmm..." I interrupt, hand on chin like Im thinking thoughtfully "Living under a rock doenst seem very comfy or fun. It would be much better living under a beanbag, wouldnt it?"

He pauses, staring at me like hes trying to evaluate how stupid I am.

"Its an expression." He explains stoically in the end.

My face shows as much telling as a, dare I say it, rock. "I know, and Im saying it would be much more comfortable living under a beanbag."

He groans, "there are no beanbags here. Living under a rock is an expression, which I know you know."

"Figuratively, yes. Literally living under a beanbag would be much more comfortable."  
  
His patience seems to have reached its end. And he goes off on a rant, voice going progressivly louder and louder. I add little jabs here and there.

Five minutes later the lentils and dinner are forgotten.

"-LIVING UNDER A ROCK MEANS-"At this point I slip out of my seat, my parents expressions amused deeply.

I go to the kitchen, open the pantry, still continuing commentary, (And _literally-" )_ and pull out the chocolate.

I go back to the table and set the chocolate on the table.

We continue. "Your puns are horrible! Almost like-"

I interrupt smirking, "- like I have been living under a rock?"

At this point I cant hold it in. I start uncontrollably giggling like mad.

"And (gasp) my (gasp) puns are _beautiful._ "

Mom speaks up finally, "Akira. You realize shes gaslighting you, right?"

Akira pauses, looking between Moms calm demeaner and my spasms, "right but shes-"  
  
I smile innocently "Anyone want chocolate?"

"Yeah but s-"  
I get a nod from mom, break off a piece for her and a piece for Akira and one for me.

Mom interjects smoothly, "You heard about my case with the lawyer and the purple tied man? It happened that.."

And with that the conversation moves on.

And mom seems to know but doesnt mind that we werent supposed to have chocolate for desert tonight, but _does_ seem to forget to make us finish our lentils.

So victory.

\------------------------------

That Night:

_Dont do it_

**Do it**

_Dont do it_

**Do it**

_Dont do it_

**You know you want it**

I grab the chocolate and run.

\------------------------------

My daily Dose of Sayin:

We are sitting on the roof, dangling our legs over the ledge.

"hey Sayin, you know what I just realized? If I use poison in my attacks, because I already use senbon so it would really help me. It makes so much sense. But for that to work I would have to work and become immune to the poisons I use. And my immune system is pretty developed- starting this late in life would have some problems.."  
Sayin twists her head towards me, her obligatory dango stick resting between her teeth.

"Oh you dont have to worry about that. Ive been poisoning your bento and breakfast since we met. Had some problems, nearly caused you to go to the hospital once. Ah, but for the greater good."

I stare at her openmouthed, "Youve been poisoning my food? Since when? You know what, never mind. Wait a second, I remember that! That time I was sick and lost my voice! The week of my leadership praying thing. Was that you?"  
  


"Yes."

I groan, put my head in my hands.

What the fuck?

But I can never get mad at her. And ignore the implications shes been sneaking into my kitchen every morning and poisioning it.

"Well at least tell me what poisons that involves."  
  


She smiles, a small smirk, "of course. Its-"

And she goes on to extrapolate one a couple dozen I have a partial immunity to, and a couple of pretty deadly ones.

Now I remember why she is so scary (And what makes her beautiful) and know shes going to be more of a deadly shinobi than she already is.

\-------------------------

Three Years Ago:

"Kiba. You know what, I dont want to know."  
I walk away, intently ignoring the giant mess in the staffroom behind me.

\---

"No Iruka-sensei I have no idea who did this" I deadpan.

Kiba grins at me.

\---------------------------

Two years ago (what cements our friendship):

"Kai. I need your help. With a thing. Several things actually."  
She turns around "What about?"

I smile sweetly, "I need you to help me plot murder."

"Oh. Sure then."

After a couple minutes of plotting to murder my brother, we come to the realization.

"Oh my kami. Well now I have a bunch of ideas.." I stare at her. "Don't murder my brother?" I hold out my pinky.

She nods solemely, holding out hers.

We link pinkies.

\------------------------------

Kunai, pretty funny yayyu kunai. so sharp an deeeeeeeeeeeeadly. 

\--------------------------------

I open up the old tome. I need something to get more general, sealing is good.

_Sealing Basics. Theories, And Its Use In The Modern World_

I look at it.

Incredibly complicated equations, formulas Ive never seen before. Something that makes me wish that I revert back to a mere sperm in my mothers stomach.

I slam my head down on it.

I stare at Shikamaru.  
Shogi.  
He kicks my ass.  
Hard.  
I never give up.  
But I already lost.  
I throw my arms up.  
"Nice game, Shikamaru."  
These sessions are really helpful for making sure my ego doesnt reach too big.  
\---  
"Akira. Go. NOw."  
We play GO.  
I kick his ass a couple times, he kicks mine.  
\---  
"Mom. Go."  
"No."  
I sigh in defeat.  
\----  
"Dad. Go."  
He kicks my ass.  
\--  
Maybe I should go to Kai (whos great at Go), and help plot strategies for my fathers defeat.

\---------------  
I walk out of my house. Its a lovely morning! The birds are chirping, the sun is bright but not too bright... and something catches my eye.  
Its a refraction of light, something Ive grown accustomed to see.  
But now...I cant?  
I frown and double back to the neighborhood mailbox.  
Its a wednedsay. On wednesdays my neighbor periodically sends out letters to family of his that lives out of Konoha.  
Its a row of boxes, each one corresponding to a single family on the street. The messengers all come to deliver our mail.  
Its a complicated process.  
The point is that the neighbors mailbox is open. It never is.  
I frown, and after a moments contemplation of "do it" 'yeeeeeeeeeeeeees" then "fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine" I walk over to the mailbox.  
I reach into it, and curiously there is a light pink in it.  
My neighbor periodically uses hot pink.  
Hes also suspected for murdering his parents, being that cantankerous middle-aged man who yells at you from his lawn, and is a drug dealer... most probably.  
He also has no name. Like Ive never talked to him except getting yelled at. Get off my lawn!  
He has family. Thats a scary thought.  
Either way, veeeery suspicous.  
The last time I read a letter I wasnt supposed to, it was about someone trying to sell us an emu.  
I very discreetly take the letter, and walk calmly to the shade of the pair of poplars by our house.  
I lift it to the sun, squinting my eyes at it.  
I catch a few words. Its seems normal. Just a regular letter from a psychopath to a family member.  
I feel horrible. Prying into this mans buisness (Whos name turns out to be Kirishima Yugi.)  
But. But at the bottom is a couple symbols.  
Symbols that is our classes sign language.  
That only we should know.  
Which means...  
our neighbor is a crazy pervert spy who has a fetish for spy codes and henges as a teacher at school in the daytime and as a drug dealer at night!  
Or a classmate is trying to mess with me.  
...yeah...  
I flick open the message via chakra strings, like a very pointed finger.  
Pulling out the letter, I immedietly scan it.  
Hello again Mineta,  
Under my regimn my plants are finally sprouting.  
Really, did you ever expect Shika to be able to plant shit?  
God, fucking hell rots over beforehand.  
End of times would come.  
Now, whats been up with you?  
Thanks for the help,  
Yugi Kirishima.  
URGENT.  
Below was a series of weird kanji, dots, and a very simplified term for fuck you that holds a differant meaning.\  
At one look, to anyone else it would look like: Fuck you to hell! I will fucking murder your shithead if you dont shut your crack up or Ill send you striaght to the hemisphere  
At second look, it was differant: Fox to fish. Trees grow in meadows.  
Fish, was unfortunely my nickname, due to well...  
my aptitude to flopping around on a desk, my occasional smell, and from some being called brain-dead.  
Foxes was not something used before.  
Foxes, however eat fish.  
This might be a threatening note, a joke or something else entirely.  
It implies someone intelligent, someone searching for me or someone implying Im so brain-dead that I would follow someone like that, and foxes had orange fur, usually.  
The amount of people I know who have orange hair is limited to Daichi (brothers friend), and Yugito who was from the civilian school.  
So it could not be either.  
Something broader? Having fox characteristics?  
Naruto has whisker marks but he doesnt even know my name.  
Foxes had fur. Fur--> coats. Hinata?  
No, purple coat.  
So someone searching for me.  
Trees in meadows?  
Either telling me to look for a literal tree, or maybe someone exceptionally tall?  
Or maybe its a referance to Konoha.  
To the training grounds? Its the only bunch of 'flowers' I can think of.  
Look for a tree among the meadows of training grounds  
Tree--> like the tree with kunai marks from me?  
Its a hint.  
I set off, first putting it back then going to said training grounds.  
When I arrived to the tree I stopped.  
I looked around.  
Nothing.  
The tree still had the kunai marks, but that was it.  
I leaned forward.  
Nope.  
I started dismissing it, and doubting myself, but something caught my eye.  
A small o x.  
Fish.  
Also o meant compass.  
x meant go the way the x showed.  
I went that way...  
It opened up t show a small meadow of flowers.  
With a tree smack in the middle of it.  
Well.  
And a hand clamped down on my shoulder.  
I was paralyzed.  
I couldnt move.  
How could I be so stupid? I fell right in this persons trap.  
And I froze in fear.  
But then it unclenched.  
I turned around, taking a step back.  
Kumade Gou in all his glory stood before me. I looked at him in awe. He planned that entire thing to get me to come? And he figured that out about my neighbor, the neighborhood, my nickname, everything?  
"You really need to work on your awareness"  
And just like that it crashed.  
"really? Youre a freaking jounin, man!" I spluttered.  
He shrugged simply, the bastard, "Tree walking."  
Itsuki and Daichi crawled out of the woodworks. Literally.  
He began walking to a place where trees populated around more, then paused.  
"Thing one and thing two got here before you. They are already working on it." He stated calmly, and they went off.  
I glared at him. But a thought occured.  
"Sensei? what did you mean by fox?" I asked curiously,  
He winked. After a beat he said, "Why, my devilish personality of course."

He looks after her as she walks off to her teammates. Well, it wasn't just that of course.   
Look underneath the underneath.  
She had a massive crush on Sayin.  
She didn't even know it yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Did y'all get the joke? Kawarami?   
> Me *pouts*


End file.
